Strange Obituary

My mother, Bernice, works at a Mental Health Place Thing.  MHPT, for short.  All day, she sits in cubicle like thing, and sorts pieces of papers from manila folders into other manila folders.  It’s about as exciting as flaming ninjas on cheetas, I know…

 All sorts of unique people come there for therapy.  Anyways, there is one client, named Vanessa, who has a penis.  For Vanessa, was once a man, I guess she still is, since she has a cock and two testicles.

She ran out of money after that boob job, sad ordeal.

Her/His brother recently died, and like most deaths, it was put in the local paper.  The obituary read.

“Bob Doe died October 10, 2006….yadda yadda yadda….Bob is succeeded by his brother Tim(a.k.a. Vanessa) and his half-sister Vanessa.

 That’s a funny way to put; I guess.

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One day my mother came to work, and she was talking to one of the therapists about the weather, or some shit like that.  Suddenly, a man, red in the face, comes running out of the of the therapy room. Screaming.

 He left the building totally enraged, and my mother went into the therapy room to see why the man had left.

Well, I would have been pissed to.  The therapist was snoozing.  The lady actually fell asleep during a session.  Nice work, real professional lady. 

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 I did not make ANY of this up.

KAMO

Creating A Band

So, me, my friend, and my other friend are trying to start a band, and already we’re hitting snags as we go.

Number one conflict in bands, we found out, is creative control.  This starts all the way from the naming of the band, to what should be on the “Best Of” album, so just remember, act like a democracy, or a schism is sure to happen.

 The name is what we’re stuck on, a good band name is hard to come up. 

AC/DC came up with their name because they saw AC/DC on a sewing machine.

Whitesnake, named after a cock.

My two choices are of course, Krinj and Fisting Bridgette.  I like them both, but the other two band mates say they have a logo and name made up as well.  So, being a good band mate, I’ll go with theirs since they win out. 2>1.

Then there’s influences.  I personally want us to be a Prog Rock/Hard Rock band, but I don’t know what they want.  It could be totally different, and they’ll have to conform and I’ll have to conform till all three of us find something good.

But that’s just part of being in a band.  Then there’s instruments.

 I’m the bassist, without a bass, but I’ll be getting mine in a couple months, I’m just saving up for a good bass.  I’m also the vocalist, but have never sang in my life.  But it can work, it just takes some time.

So much time goes into it, but it’s worth it. 

Hopefully everything will turn out good in the end.

-KAMO

Duck Season

Duck season this year is going to be great. 

Tons of pictures expected, just wait, I will shock and awe everywhere.

Fuck Censorship

I hate censors.  I hate boundries.  I hate filters.  But most of all, I hate the people who like these or advocate these things.

 My biggest beef is probably videogames.

Dickheads like Jack Thompson are trying to ruin an entire industry because he thinks it’s causing kids to kill other kids or adults.

Oh, how wrong he is.  I don’t think pixels are going to get someone to take a gun to someone’s face.  I think it’s more of the lifestyle of the kid.

For instance, if his parents/guardians beat him, he’s probably not going to be very nice.

If no one loves him, he’s going to show the exact opposite of love… and hate everyone around him.  It’s not videogames guys, it’s the lifestyle, it’s their shitty lives.  So stop trying to censor something, you cock.

I play videogames.  I play violent videogames, and not once have I ever took a gun to another person’s face in the intention to kill or maim that person ever…
So some kids go on a rampage and kill some other kids.  It just so happens that the killers play videogames.  Sure, I guess you could make the connection. But that’s just like saying,
“Well, they all like to play guitar as well! Ah hah, we found the culprit to the degeneration of our youth, it’s guitars!”

No, your all wrong.  Also, what the hell is up with curse words being so damn taboo? 

Screw off censorship.

Family Unit

Father.  Mother. Son. Daughter.  The basic good red-blooded American family.

Ahh, American family, the words bring images such as Christmas day.  Pop sitting in his chair, smoking his pipe, with the fire a blazing in the pit, and Ma preparing a lovely Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.  How precious! After dinner, the kids all gather round the glowing tree, and open their gifts from Santa.  Timmy got a car.  Jill got a doll. Dad got a brand new tie.  And Ma got new cookwear.

 But really does this happen? How often? Is their really a plausible thing of a perfect family.  What exactly is the perfect, greatest combination of people to make the Family Unit?

 Well, the truthful answer is: There is no perfect family.

A family with a single mom and three kids of different races is just as valid as a family of four: Ma, Pa, Kids.

So why does government think they can decide what is a good or acceptable family?

TIME FOR EXAMPLES

EX1 a lesbian couple are not allowed to be a daycare service

BULLSHIT!  People are people.  You shouldn’t stop a couple, regardless of their sex to become a daycare service, or any service for that matter. A kin to color segregation, it’s just not right. 

 EX2 Gay Parents Create Gay Kids

WRONG! Gay isn’t something you choose.  It’s instilled in your brain from your birth.  If you are straight, do you remember a time you just said, “I like pussy.  I’m going to be with girls and not guys” No. You don’t.  People don’t choose which sex or gender they want.  It’s just assigned, so don’t judge.

People, please realize the wrong your doing.  Not allowing gays the same rights as straights is utter degredation and ludicrous.

Is the Vatican royally boned?

The Mujahedeen Army, a group of insurgents in Iraq has posted a message on the internet threatening attacks on Vatican City in Rome, Italy. -WikiNews

Wow, way to go Benedict.  Just cause your head of another religion doesn’t give you the right to criticize other religions.

President Bush can’t just tell everyone in a speech that India blows.  Or that China is gay. 

The Pope apologized in public today saying, “at this time I wish also to add that I am deeply sorry for the reactions in some countries to a few passages of my address at the University of Regensburg, which were considered offensive to the sensibility of Muslims. These [comments] were in fact a quotation from a medieval text which do not in any way express my personal thought.” -WikiNews

Oh whatever!  Of course you hold that opinion!  You agree with it because YOU put it in YOUR speech. 

Trains, Planes, And Automobiles

Today’s post focuses around these three things, so enjoy! 

 Trains – Here’s a strange story that deals with trains. More specifically, freight trains.  Freight trains transport materials, such as coal and iron.  Freight trains sometimes travel as fast as 80 miles an hour.  These trains also weigh several tons. And they can do a lot of damage.  How do I know this?  Well let’s just say I experimented on what would happen if you put a shopping cart on the track. 

Let’s just say I found the front bar and the Wal-Mart safety strap.  (Funny how the safety strap was a-ok)  Then my other experiment, I used a bike instead of the cart.  Same results.  Damn, there goes my favorite bike! And how am I going to go shopping without my favorite cart! Oh the horror!  Well anyways, back on the topic, these things are deadly.  But get this.

 New Zealand woman survives being run over by freight train

That is almost unbelievable.  The woman was apparently laying across the tracks (smart one isn’t she) taking a nap or something.  Anyways, A train traveling 20km/h came hit her, and she survived, only receiving minor wounds.  

Police and investigators would not comment on why the woman was laying on the tracks. Suicide?  Speaking of suicide, that brings me to my next subject.

 Planes- Planes, whats the deal with them.  With all the terrorism about the world, you think people would be scared of planes right? Nope.  In fact there loving em’ even more! Introducing the Airbus A380!  It weighs a whopping 308 tons, thus if it crashed somewhere, a relatively large section would practically be desintegrated.  Hopefully this won’t fall into the wrong hands.

 Automobiles - Let’s talk about the black box.  No, don’t worry, this is not an error, this doesn’t go into the planes section.   There could be new little device in your car.  Similar to the planes black box, this will record everything.  So if you were speeding before a crash, you would thus pay the penalty. 

Good Thing Or Bad- You Decide!

Story Of The Day

Israel Offers Peace to Lebanon

Ehud Olmert, the Prime Minister of Israel has offered to make peace with Lebanon, calling for an end to “hostility, fanaticism and hatred” towards each nation by “shaking [each other's] hands.” – WikiNews

So what is going to happen here?  These two are actually starting to figure out that fighting amongst themselves will just allow the enemy (Hezbollah) to gain strength.  So what will happen? Only time will tell.

Fouad seems like he would be willing to cooperate as well as Ehud. We both know that they want peace between there nations.  Fouad obviously wants it (Siniora Plan). 

More to come later.